February's Word: Surrender

Last month I focused on the word TRUST. I can honestly say that by focusing on that one word for a month, I made huge strides in my trust and faith. I think it is time to kick it up a notch in February and take it one step further. From TRUST comes SURRENDER. I want to surrender my plans, my ideas, my expectations, and my desires.  One of the biggest roadblocks in my spiritual journey is trying to maintain "control" of my life. I am not talking about being in control of my children. I am talking about making plans for my life without even consulting God. I just say "this is what I want" and assume I am going to get it. God tends to have completely different ideas for me, so giving up this control and surrendering to him will be difficult.

"If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful, and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed." — Pope Benedict XVI

I think fear, a little stumbling in trust (still!), and laziness is what keeps me from completely submitting to God. I am afraid of what He has in store for me. Can I handle it? Do I even want to deal with it?  I am a sinner, and these are the thoughts that keep me from releasing myself completely.

"I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me; insofar as I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me and given himself up for me." ~Galatians 2:20

I have already shifted my focus. I was hung up on "losing weight" and exercising HARD daily in January so that I could "get healthier." Let's be honest. I wanted to lose weight for vain reasons. Instead of working myself to death in order to lose weight, I need to find a balance where I am doing everything for reasons that glorify God. That means surrendering my ideas of losing weight, getting "fit", how homeschool looks, and how my relationship with God currently looks. I am giving it all up to Him so that He may make the transformations in my life where He wants them.